Benaras

The purity of water
washed off my sins
The Brightness of light
lit up my soul
This is the colour
I wish to live in
The beautiful structures
and the ageless stories
Benaras, a beauty forever
To live here, to die here
To breathe this air
To touch this land

I miss that smell
I miss my heart 

By a Rocking Friend

There is this girl I remember in school
always smiling, funny and cool

I sat behind her in class, where
she talks nonstop with the girl beside her
always getting scolded by the teacher
only to resume moments later

Haha!

Happy, cheery and welcome that
she goes around in class and talks to everyone
ligthing up faces with her chit chat
ocassionally coming upto me and dropping a line

All I could speak to her was about last day's homework
at which she would give me the look
her hands busy copying from her friend's book

In the two years we had been together
I have never been able to make friends with her

But I won't forget the face
one that I would never miss in any place

I wonder...

I wonder what life would be without meeting people like you...people who always live in the virtual world... people whom I havent met for over past 10 years but still continue to be a part of your daily life just like they were more than 10-15 years back.
I know I have more life to lead but sometimes... as I continue to hangout in this virtual world I feel I am trapping myself to my past and keeping myself to a fort that I believe is safe for me(unlike the basic assumption that virtual world is unsafe)... I am loosing the art of making new friends, exploring new frontiers and experimenting new things... as I hangout with my old friends, I wonder how many new ones I have missed... I am not saying that I am unhappy with my old friends but still new ones are also a necessity, right?
I dont expect an answer to my questions, its just a simple question to the vast void out there...
As we grow older, we need more people who have known as in our childhood to make us remember our past, to keep us rooted to ground and for us to remember that they are the reason for whatever we are today.
Thank you my dear old friends whom I meet virtually everyday and the new friends whom I am yet to meet...You guys make me feel alive

Goodbye My Love

As I realize what happened between us
I do realize that I am loosing my lover
My best friend and my guide in life

As I realize that the hands that held me once
And the lips that kissed me once
Now belong to someone else…
I realize that I have lost everything that I ever believed in

I have lost my life and my heart
That you took away from me
I have lost my body and my mind
That was always yours from start

You could never take my spirit
You never could break my dreams
I still have myself
I still have my soul.

Dreams

Dreams keep me alive
they give me a purpose
Dreams keep me sane
and gives me hope
Dreams keep me happy
when sadness engulf me
Dreams....they are most beautiful
when it can be fullfilled
But the unrealistic dreams
make me wish to live further
Dreams...they are indeed special
for life without you
would be a world without sunlight

The year gone by

2011...it has been a very intersting and happening year for me. Made lots of new friends, fought with a few... some people whom I knew from before became close and some went away. Got confirmed in a job that I am yet to start liking but I know I will be here for some more time. I will always cherish this year for this has taught me new things about love and friendship. I know the next year is going to give me pain but then if there is no sadness, will we ever remember God. I am just praying that God will be kind enough to make the pain obselete. Career wise, I have learnt lots of things and I have learnt a bit of money management and people management. I have met the person who can make me do anything that I hate just to see a smile on that face...thats my neice.
I have cried for the dead and my sincere apologies to all those friends whom I hurt a lot. I hope the new year 2012 is better than 2011 and all the love that was showered on me, just continue. Thank you friends and family for making my life worth living...without you people I will not be what I am today.

Dilemma

I am in a dilemma and last night I realised what a pathetic friend I am....long time, on a very pleasant evening in Hyd I had promised a friend that I will attend his marriage, no matter where I am and when the function is. But, the marriage started today and I am still sitting in Bangalore. I was unable to keep my word and I am terribly ashamed. He called me yesterday and the first thing he asked me is when I am reaching. He was absolutly sure that I am coming but I couldnt make it. I am a bad friend and I hope someday you'll forgive me, N...and I wish you and H a very happy beautiful married life. May you both be blessed with the best of whatever you ever wish for and the proof that is your marriage itself

New Assignment

On May 15, 2011, a batch of 2500 people (approx) completed two years probation in SBI. I am one amongst them...many people also got their assignments for the next 3 years but the people belonging to our circle are yet to get it
But, I got my first assignment...work as BM-Cum-Accountant for 3 days in a branch that has 13 staff. Everyone told me that I can do it and I should look at it as a challenge. I was ready for it, a bit frustrated at my controllers but still ready...
But the challenge came with a single customer...she approached me yesterday...she came in puffing because apparently she had gone to the old premises and she didnt know we had shifted which had happened in February. I was shocked.
Then she told, she wants to operate the locker but couldnt remember the locker number, we managed to find that also...then she told us that there is a possibility that rent was due but not deducted from her account. She was out of town for a long time, she explained
She started talking very fast and I found her very weird and slowly the reason for it came out, she was coming to Bangalore after a very long time, her son had just passed away last year.He was 24 years and had had cancer. She was telling me all these and I was not sure how to respond. I was just shocked when she had told she was just coming out of depression...it really must have been pathetic....I simply didnt know how to face this challenge!!!

An Era Comes to an End

Well...from the title it might seem as a great person has died...he was a great but for all the wrong reasons...Osama Bin Laden...a single person who shocked the whole world and brought the largest democracy to a stand still...A real terror...the Enemy No.1 of the world
But its a sad way in which he died...from what I hear he was seeing the sunset of his own life and he was attacked (after a long tracking)...and to see a whole country cheer and celebrate a person's death was just too much to digest and unexpected from a civilised world...i felt as if i was picturising an image of the 16th century where many women were supposed to be "witches" and they were either drowned or burnt alive while men watched and celebrated.
I agree to the fact that what he did to the people of that country was bad and totally uncivilised but "eye for an eye will make the whole world blind"...im not telling that he should be allowed to live but such a big country...im sure they would have had resources to destroy the force, curb his intentions and arrest the main people...make sure they never repeat their actions and no one in future ever does it. What have you gained by killing a person in cold-blood...just blood on your hands and a tag of "murderer"
P.S:whatever is written here are my personal thoughts, dont arrest me for this

Movie

I watched The King's Speech, fell in love with English all over again I watched Christian Brothers and fell in love with Sharath Kumar I watched Urumi and I am yet to decide what hit me!!!

Living with Father

Jan 20: My Father reaches Bangalore. He is unable to adjust to the climate and the place and especially the food available here. He can't eat in a place where non- veg is served and he doesnt like garlic in his food... By 23 Jan. return tickets are booked but thats for April. How will he survive? How will I survive?

Slowly, as the daily dose of fights increase, he adjusts to everything and the climate goes from cold to hot.

Now, he doesnt want to go back and is already talking about coming back soon

For me...it is a real pleasure coz Kitchen has become his dept...i can wake up late and food is ready. Someone to serve me tea when I reach home.

We fight like cats and dogs and complain to the employment dept (Mother)...if I ask him to do anything new he doesnt and says its not there in the employment contract. My Mom enjoys the fights and laughs a lot.

I have never taken my dad out anywhere special and he doesnt seem to complain. Tomo, I intend to take him for a movie and after that...there is no more weekend left for him to enjoy here.

I think he sad about going from here and I dont know what will happen to me once he goes back

Sms inspired thought!!!

Sms:
Life has never promised you anything...Nor has God...But people did...
Some said they will never leave you...Lie!!!
Some said they will love you till death...Lie!!!
Some said you are the most precious one...Lie!!!
Life is made of such sweet lies... All that matters is, how you faced the time when you finally realized those were just lies...We may ask " wouldn't life be much better without these lies?"
But in Truth, the times you lived on those big lies were the only times you lived...!!!
A nice sms I felt and so true...I know many many people who have given these promises and just disappeared after leaving their footprints in the sands of time but there are some people in my life who have been written on stone in my life...and if I am to loose them... Life is over!!! This sms is dedicated to those people...I would never ever lie to them

2011

Yet another year has passed...no new resolutions....
But yes i did decide to re-start my diary

ITFOK 2010

The International Theatre Festival of Kerala 2010...has become a blimmer of the old self.
When this venture was started in 2008, there were loads and loads of issues...people held dharna and there were threats of picketing but all these issues were handled in a wonderful manner and the program never halted.
This year, there is a break for 2 days and lots of juggling around...nothing is as per schedule and no schedule is complete.
What a tragedy

Tribute to a veteran leader

Dec 23, 2010 will forever remain etched in the memories of many malayalees coz they lost a partriachal figure in politics, Mr K Karunakaran...a person who ruled or decided the rulers. There has been a lot of discussion in the past regarding his good or bad and what character dominates the most but whatever be the personal feelings many(just like conflicted feelings I have) he is a person who made Thrissur what it is today and he had major plans like an Airport which never succeeded due to other politicians...Long live his memory

2 movies and 1 exam- 05 Dec 2010

I got up at 6.30 am this sunday because of an exam which starts at 9am...and that too in a center near the market...after the movie, i had decided to catch up with a movie and my old roomie was waiting for me with a friend in Forum...she got us tickets for NarniaIII....it was awesome...also coz I have been a major Narnia fan...After the movie, we felt we need more fun but all the good movies in forum were fully booked...so we decided to go to Garuda mall...as there is a mubltiplex there also...we reached but...there only Harry Potter was the good movie playing and the tickets were completly booked...well thats the case all over Bangalore for HP7...but our friend being a good person in marketing managed to get 3 tickets and we saw the 2nd movie of the day...it was simply great.
The exam...well... as my friend told " you proved yourself that you are eligible to write the exam once more"

The first quarter

The first quarter of my life is coming to an end officially on Dec 24th...I was thinking about writing a book on the memoirs...it would be interesting (to me)...25 years on this earth

A telephonic conversation

After 8 years of living in the shell, slowly I have started coming out and decided to renew the contacts of old schoolmates...this was inspired by a friend who asked me a simple question "don't you have contact or photos of school?" when i told i am feeling lonely...
i became active on facebook and there..."we roar..." group was found...all old pals catching up with eachother...and a very good friend of mine, asked for my contact number telling he cant chat as he is feeling sleepy...finally he called me today and we were just chatting in general...the conversation continued for 2 hours...still its not over...we were talking about the good old days, the students who studied with us and the teachers who taught us...and we both have lots in common since we studied from LKG to 10th in the same class and was split only for the later 2 years...we, together, have seen people come n go in class...people who passed 12th with us...people who flunk and became our juniors and people who flunk and later became our classmates...people who left us after some years and didnt complete the 12th with us and people who joined us towards the later part of our 14 years of school life...it felt great...its not like he is in contact with these people but talking about the common threads brought in lots of fantastic and naughty memories...school...it was one hell of a fun and the best part was that i studied in the same school for 14 years...that way i knew lots of my seniors..the teachers knew me well and many juniors also remember me!!!

Loss

Today I lost a friend...to ego and personal freedom
Its hurting me a lot and I am sad...
I wish I could be old Samy that I once was...never hurt when people come and never hurt when people leave....extremly detached...I have decided to work on it!!!

Low profile

I have been thinking about keeping a very low profile for somedays now...just get away from everyone, change the mobile number and simply sit at home. I am tired of phone calls and the questions that people ask. I am tired of answering questions and not getting answers in return. Oh...i am so tired....